I am so upset these days.

This has been one of the most difficult weekends that I have experienced in a long time. I need to go get my daughter this weekend and guess what nothing worked out for my husband and I. We could not rent a car to get her. We can't let her ride a bus, and a plane ticket is outrageous. Or it is for us. We are broke. My daughter is in Alabama and I can't go and get her! It is the most depressing feeling ever. She wants to come home and I have an old car that would not make it down there and because we have a debit Visa card we could not rent a car. I mean we got jerked around the entire weekend. I have a job interview tomorrow and I pray that I get this job. I need it in the worst way. It is three streets away and I can swing those gas prices. I just pray and pray I get this. My family needs this break.

The defense rests.

The defense rested it's case today in the Casey Anthony trial. She did not take the stand and I don't blame her. They would have eaten her ass up. I mean that girl lied constantly. I bet she could not tell the truth about what she had for lunch. Kasey look really scared as the case began to wind down. She has every reason to be scared they are pushing for the death penalty.I can say that I don't think she really killed the child on purpose, but I also don't think she is innocent either. Maybe the child did drown in the swimming pool, or maybe she left it in a hot car. Who knows? All I know is that it will  probably take a day for the verdict to come back on her.  I guess we will have to wait and see. I mean I wish I could have watched the trial with out all the commentary.

On to another note: my friend that had the problem husband ( I know which friend is that?) finally got a job today and since she went back to him, he got to throw his two cents in about it. She called me to tell me that I was he only positive person that she had spoken to the entire day. What an ass for putting her down on her new job. She is stepping away from him and he knows it. Well shame on him for trying to keep that woman under his thumb. My job search has a dead end and a possibility. So we will see. I am taking the steps to get my life back.

So to beat it all!

So you say to yourself, "Hey it can only go up from here." Boy was I wrong. I go to load the dishwasher, and afterwards I try to wash my hands, and no water. I was like what the hell we just paid on our bill. Call the water department and yes they have indeed cut off our water! I plead our case and  am only left more  confused. They said we had not paid our bill since we moved. That was impossible! Well I argued that  our bill was not due until July 11,2011. They maintained their justification of water lock out. I finally asked them if they were not mistakenly crediting the wrong address? In fact they had been doing just that! They were crediting the old address that they claimed still had a past due balance. I said that was impossible because I had turned it off in April and we came in and paid the remaining balance off a couple days later. So as it turns out they never disconnected our old address and the new tenants never said a peep. Too top it off they claimed we never filled out the form to disconnect service. I spent almost the entire day arguing with them! You see I remember filling out all of the forms because the lady behind the desk had a boob hanging out of her shirt with a horrible tatoo on it, and my husband and I could not help but notice it. It was like a car accident you don't want to look, but you can't help it. Turns out she was bad boob, bad tatoo lady, and insisted that we had no filled out the form. My husband had to leave work early (money we needed) and go down there. Needless to say no apology. Don't ya just love the water department!

My Life is pathetic right now.

I went  job hunting today and I have to say that there is something wrong with your life when just enjoy driving along filling out applications. None of these job apps lead to pay dirt, but it was nice to be out of the house. I just sit and wonder where did my life go. We are so far in hole that I do not ever think we will see light. I have begged my husband to get a second job with no results. We don't have enough groceries to last until his payday, and besides that we have to go get our daughter when he gets paid. I mean where is the life we had. We had a decent car, a nice house, and a gym membership. Now we have lost our house, car, and the Y membership. I mean we can't even pay our bills, and feed our kids. I want to go back to school, but we can't afford it. I just want a job now! My life is pathetic right now. I have been saying for three years now that things will get better, but I am begining to think that it will never. I guess I will just keep praying. God let me at least have gas money to look for a job this week. I'll take two jobs please...

I have to stop watching this trial.

I am as poor as a church mouse, and bored to tears. So I have turned to court tv. I have been following the Casey Anthony trial. I know that girl is going to be convicted of something, but I can't help feeling sorry for her because her trial lawyer stinks. I mean there is not one thing in this trial he has not screwed up. I mean it is twenty objections and two side bars just to get anything into evidence. I mean he seems out of place in a courtroom and the prosecutors will propably have him convicted of a crime by the time this whole thing is said and done. I mean he is defending the biggest liar I have ever witnessed, and trust me I have met some big ass liars in my time. I mean this girl could not tell the truth about what she had for lunch. I would'nt put her on the stand. She would get ate for lunch up there. All the lies she has told and her poor parents. Those poor people have lost their beautiful grandchild and know their lying daughter will probably get the chair. I mean why would anyone kill a child that they could have left with her grandparents any day of the week and just walked away. They loved that little girl and she could have dissapeared into the mist. The whole thing makes no sense. I wonder if I am the only one watching this circus and shaking thier heads.

Congrats to my friend for leaving aan abusive husband.

My friend has left her abusive husband, and all I can say is that it is about time! I mean she has really tried to stand by this man for years now and he has done nothing but drink to much, be verbally abusive to her, and I suspect he has hit her a few times too. I have really wondered why she stayed for so long with him, I suspect it was because she thought the kids would get upset. I have no clue what her reasons were. I am just glad that she is getting out of there. Maybe this husband of hers will see the errors of his ways and try to fix this, but he is stubborn person. They have two children and it would be nice to see them happy, but I don't see him being capable of change. I still think there is something in the Gator Aide this summer. These men must be drinking from the same squeeze bottle. Well this jackass has threaten to have her dog put down, take her children, and has accused her of having an internet affair. I mean I kinda hoped she was having an affair, but sadly enough she said it was not true:( I think she deserves some kind of love and romance after the last years she has had with him, but it was not true. I think this man is capable of love and kindness and I hope he soon starts showing it.

Make a decision and live with it.

In response to my friend: Make sure you are prepared to live with your decisions. I mean sometimes you get so used to looking past things that you to turn around you have no clue where YOU are. I wanted to take control over my own life and still find myself compromising. I say don't make the same mistakes I have made, and overlooked so long that you can't find one glimpse of yourself. Start standing up now or you will find yourself stooped over always searching the ground.

I am having crazy thoughts these day.

I have come to realize these days that I am getting tired of  being resposible for other people's feelings. I should be able to have some feelings of my own, a life that is in some part my own. I am beginning to think that in order to be married you have to have no thoughts that are your own. I am no longer allowed to make any descision on anything, I have not made one decision in almost twenty years that I have not had to consider the ramifications for everyone in my house. I have no life of my own ,not a corner or a slice of my own life. I feel very angry right now!

I hope my friend knows I am here for her.

I spent a couple of days helping my friend with her kids, and I have to say that I feel for her situation. Her childrens father is the biggest shit head. I would not be in her shoes for her socks. He is a cheater.. I know she knows this. I just try to be there for her. I hope she leaves soon. I would get into the whole situation there, but you would not believe it even if you read it. I just want her to know that I am here for her.

Congrats on your tubal!

Sending out a congrats to my friend on her tubal ligation. It is kinda stupid though she had a c-section with her baby and they could not tie her tubes right then  because it is a Catholic hospital. So she had to wait until she healed from one surgery just so she could have another, and the sad thing is that she had to be put under for this. Frankly, it was funny because all she could say the entire night before was that she was thrilled that she could finally take a nap. I thought it was funny. Now on to another matter. What is up with crazy ass men these days?  Must be something in the Gator aide. My friends and I are all having issues. Economy or the summer heat?

I just got off the phone with two really good friends and I am so happy that I have them in my life. I have to make a tough decision today and I was on the fence. It makes me feel good to know that they accept me as I am, and say, " Hey do what you got to do." Thanks ladies for your faith in me. Sometimes you need that kind of reassurance.

Another follower!

I have another follower! Cool! Well have fun and please chime in at anytime on anything. I am hoping for lots of honest answers. Weather they are good or bad. Thanks!

This day sucked beyond belief!

It started out as an okay day and then all hell broke lose. You must understand that my husband and I are have money troubles all over the place. It is not all his fault, and not all mine either. However, he chose to blow up today. I mean it was bad and I thought I was going to have the cops. I understand that we are in a bad place, but the way he acted is not going to help. He is a good man, and more days than not, I am happy with him. I think we are starting to buckle under the pressure. I am hoping that we can ride out the storm and maybe get back to better days. I just hope we can do this, cause I think we are now exhausted fighting the good fight. 

Is it okay to ask your boyfriend to delete women off his facebook page?

I was talking to a friend of mine today and she was telling me about how many women were on her boyfriend's facebook. She was not happy with some of the posts these women have left on his page. Now I have to add that this man has a track record of being unfaithful. My friend gets the riot act if another man even comments on her page ever, but this guy has girls all over his page commenting constantly. I know that the guilty dog always barks the loudest and so does she, but when does the silent dog bite someone in the  throat?  I want my friend to go for the throat. I am sure that she has her reason for not doing this, but I want pictures when she does. I wonder how much crap can one person take before they push themselves away from the table and say no more for me? I personally have told my husband when I am not comfortable with someone on his page. He is pretty good about the whole thing and either explains the relationship or deletes them off.

I have my first comment!

Well I finally have my first comment added to my blog and I am thrilled. It is my hope there will be more to come. Today was a really boring day around here. I have recently come in contact with a nephew and the child really needs someone to look after him. His momma has thrown him out and frankly I am reluctant to help the kid out. He has problems and I am sorry to say that I would not want them to influence my children. What should I do? Any suggestions?

Do you ever think you are owed a better explanation.

Today has been turned into one of those days that you thought would go better than it has. Really my I have no clue weather my feelings should be hurt or not. I have to say that I have a complicated extended family or lack there of. It is my guess that is a lack there of. I think I am owed a better explanation or at least a clarification. I mean am I considered family or visitor? I think it would be easier to know your statis.

This is my first Blog and I am excited.

Well here I am trying to fill  the time with something productive. I started this blog because I was just wondering if there were other people out there had something interesting to say other than the bland vanilla comments I read on my Face book page. I mean don't get me wrong there nice to read about how so and so went for ice cream today or pics of the family vacation. I just began to think really there is nowhere were people speak really frank about issues we all face like marital, family (real family issues), love life or lack there of, health issues, unemployment, or jobs that just get on your nerves, kids that get on your nerves, and just things that people seem to just suffer in silence. I really want to know what is on your mind today.